The bizarre mis-adventure of physician's band gig   Article written by Anonymous       Back to Cover

Gig from Hell?  Well, I wouldn't ____

necessarily refer to it as “Hell”, but I would say it was a Gig from “Bizarre-o-Land” to say the least.

OK, let’s start with the beginning…I’m a practicing medical professional living and working in the quiet and conservative suburbs of Seattle.  I need to stress ‘conservative’ here so you understand how uncomfortable I was in a party environment with male guests dressed as sheep.  There’s the tickler, now let’s go back a few years…

It all started one day many years ago with a few doctors and surgical tech’s chatting in the lounge between surgeries when we realized that we had all, at one time or another, picked up a musical instrument.  As with the beginning of many bands, we decided to get together for an impromptu jam session at someone’s house.  No one had delusions of greatness or even that we would do anything more than have fun on a sunny afternoon.  Of course, once the nurses and hospital administration staff caught on, guess __

suprised musician

who was booked for the year end holiday gathering?

With a borrowed bass player and a few sit-in nurses at vocals, we entertained the masses who were thrilled to be in our presence.  Not because we were great musicians, but because it’s always ‘cute’ to see your brain surgeon fumbling around looking pathetic.  The show went on, everyone had a great time, and we thought that would likely be the end of it.  We were dead wrong.

Apparently, many in the crowd liked what they heard.  In fact, a few follow up parties here and there were booked and we garnered somewhat of a “cult” following of medical professionals and associated services.  Most, like us, were conservative in their atmosphere until we were booked to play at a retirement party for an airline pilot.  We didn’t think of it as being any different from the last few parties.  We couldn’t have been more wrong.

The event was held at a hotel conference room.  Nice place.  Way better than the back decks and living rooms we had been playing in.  We set up, got everything dialed in and about half way through dinner started playing some light classic rock.  We took a short break during which some gifts were offered to the retiree.  I wasn’t paying too much attention to what the gifts were until there was a stir in the audience so I looked closer.  It was a sheep…a blow up sheep…..and it was wearing something completely inappropriate... especially for a sheep!  I was looking somewhat cross-eyed at my fellow ______

doctors/musician friends trying to wrap my mind around whether or not this was a gag or a serious gift when we were asked to start playing again.  I lost myself in the music for a few songs when I was yanked back into reality by six men in full sheep regalia prancing about the room (yeah, I know sheep don’t prance but I’m pretty sure these did).  They proceeded to dance _

sheep in drag

amongst the crowd working their way eventually to the front of the stage where they commenced some rehearsed erotic sheep-dance routine with everyone cheering.  I couldn’t believe what was happening right in front of me.  “Is this still a gag?”  I asked myself.  “If it is, it’s in really bad taste.”

Most gags eventually stop and everyone laughs.  As you can guess, this one didn’t come to an abrupt end.  It seemed to go on forever and I think we all started playing the remainder of the set list in double time.  We packed up in record time and got the heck out of Dodge (or in this case Wyoming).  The next day I realized that I had left a couple cords and a guitar stand that to this day, someone can have.  I had guitar straps closed in the cases and I’m still trying to untangle the cords I did grab in great haste on my departure.

Now I understand that this event to someone less conservative than I may simply seem like a good party.  You can have it.  I have enough trouble trying to remember lyrics, cords and licks to be distracted by such acts.  If you’re thinking I’m a prude….let’s see how you like it when erotic sheep dance around me in my other job when I’m trying to pin your grandma’s hip back together after a fall.  “Hey!  I’m trying to work here!”

-Anonymous

 

MEET THE WRITER - ANONYMOUS

MEET THE WRITER - ANONYMOUS

The proceeding Gig from Hell was submitted by a local medical practitioner who is also a Weekend Musician and did not want to have his identity disclosed.  He told me about this gig years ago and I thought it was worthy to print.  If you have any stories, drop me a line.  If you don’t wish to be identified, we can work that out too!

Arny Bailey, editor